Predator: Shapeshifter Extraordinaire
I was reminded of something important not long ago: People who are 'powerless' are faced with potential bullying from many angles. A bully is a predator, seeking that which is perceived to be weaker or easily overtaken.
But what does a predator look like?
To know the answer, maybe we should understand its prey, for surely we are more familiar with that. Anyone who feels powerless can fall victim to those who hunger for power. Desperation can strip people of power within their own life; therefore, those without adequate shelter or food can become easy prey for people looking to take advantage, because their need is so great. Same can be said for someone who has lived through abuse, who now struggles with substance abuse to dull painful memories. Individuals with mental health issues or intellectual disability have been historically kept on the outskirts of society because of the challenges they face. Many of us are aware of these marginalized people groups and are committed to social change so that every person regardless of their life story can know that they deserve equality, community, relationship.
But I realized recently that even a healthy child living in upper middle class society who has been taught to respect their elders can fall prey to power-craving adults. It is hard enough for an adult to halt the unhealthy behaviors of another adult - how can a child stand up to such bullying?
Perhaps we don't think that the little snarky remark we throw at a child will do anything more than guilt them into stopping from doing something we don't like, or that little tap to the cheek wasn't that bad, because it convinced the student that when you said to sit still, you meant it.
Adult manipulation of children is a rampant, widespread and acceptable method of bullying in today's society. But we need to recognize this behavior - even verbal manipulation and shaming - for what it is: evil.
Caregiving occurs in the moment. In each small moment that we enter, we have opportunity to strengthen the relationship we have with the kids in our lives, or weaken it. Those small moments are the cement that forms a child's moral memory, teaching them who they are to us, whether they are of value, and whether we can be trusted.
So, what does a predator look like? The truth is, we are all capable of acting in a predatory or bullying manner to those who are perceived 'beneath' us in pecking order. When it comes to the children in our lives, we must remember to take care that every moment linking to another is an opportunity to speak value into that child, to reinforce that they are safe with us, and that we honour them. If our words and our actions are not speaking that, then we must look in the mirror, and from the perspective of a child, or a person with a disability, or any marginalized individual, ask the question again.
But what does a predator look like?
To know the answer, maybe we should understand its prey, for surely we are more familiar with that. Anyone who feels powerless can fall victim to those who hunger for power. Desperation can strip people of power within their own life; therefore, those without adequate shelter or food can become easy prey for people looking to take advantage, because their need is so great. Same can be said for someone who has lived through abuse, who now struggles with substance abuse to dull painful memories. Individuals with mental health issues or intellectual disability have been historically kept on the outskirts of society because of the challenges they face. Many of us are aware of these marginalized people groups and are committed to social change so that every person regardless of their life story can know that they deserve equality, community, relationship.
But I realized recently that even a healthy child living in upper middle class society who has been taught to respect their elders can fall prey to power-craving adults. It is hard enough for an adult to halt the unhealthy behaviors of another adult - how can a child stand up to such bullying?
Perhaps we don't think that the little snarky remark we throw at a child will do anything more than guilt them into stopping from doing something we don't like, or that little tap to the cheek wasn't that bad, because it convinced the student that when you said to sit still, you meant it.
Adult manipulation of children is a rampant, widespread and acceptable method of bullying in today's society. But we need to recognize this behavior - even verbal manipulation and shaming - for what it is: evil.
Caregiving occurs in the moment. In each small moment that we enter, we have opportunity to strengthen the relationship we have with the kids in our lives, or weaken it. Those small moments are the cement that forms a child's moral memory, teaching them who they are to us, whether they are of value, and whether we can be trusted.
So, what does a predator look like? The truth is, we are all capable of acting in a predatory or bullying manner to those who are perceived 'beneath' us in pecking order. When it comes to the children in our lives, we must remember to take care that every moment linking to another is an opportunity to speak value into that child, to reinforce that they are safe with us, and that we honour them. If our words and our actions are not speaking that, then we must look in the mirror, and from the perspective of a child, or a person with a disability, or any marginalized individual, ask the question again.
posted by Connie Jones at 9:27 AM
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